It’s Easter and thankfully spring has sprung. Yet somehow I’m feeling overwhelmed by all that is going on in my life. Still I need to focus on all that “attitude of gratitude” that will get me to the point of where I really wish to be… that place of joy in all that the spring season promises. The birds know it… know that their needs will be cared for and how lucky I feel that they are living just outside my door, breathing the fresh air that this area promises and delivers.
So here is my list of things for which I am thankful: I’m thankful for…
- My brains and the ability to think, understand, know, and dream.
- My job, which affords me the means to support myself, which I feel is a true freedom.
- The freedoms I have as an American, especially that of free speech.
- The freedom from persecution; or better put perhaps, living in a place where our four freedoms (freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom from fear, and freedom from want) are all possible.
I’m also thankful for spring.
This year, and I literally mean that since January I have been involved in so many changes to help improve my life that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by them all. First there were taxes. At the end of January, when I got my W-2s, the push was on to “git-er-done”. I got online and completed them by the end of January. My State and Federal refunds were in the bank by the middle of February which was a good thing because my waterline froze somewhere between the dug-well, 800′ or so up the road, and my home.
This is a scary thing, being without water, partly because you are without water and partly because you have no idea how long the problem will persist. It was too bitter cold to deal with and the ground too frozen to dig up, and the distance too long, and it was the middle of winter. But when the furnace also went out for a couple of days, I was seriously concerned as to whether or not I could stay in the house. Sure, I have a wood stove, but I’d have to be here 24/7 in order to tend it. The old Atlantic 224 was not an “airtight” by any means, and the woodbox (the stove itself) will only hold a few logs at a time… not enough to keep the thing going for an 8 or 10-hour stint. I had to be home to tend it which meant, I wouldn’t be able to go to work, as I do not live close enough to my job to be able to come home at lunchtime. I do have a neighbor who watches the place for me (he’s retired), but I couldn’t ask him to tend my wood stove (and his own) for the rest of the winter. I would have to shut everything down an move out. So I got online to look at my options and I found a hotel right down the road from my office had the best rate for “senior citizens” w/AARP membership. But within two days, I had heat again. The oil burner serviceman replaced the expansion tank and my furnace was up and running again.
This was an interesting “exercise” because it allowed me see how doable it was to lug water for drinking, washing up, brushing teeth, sponge bathing on the weekends, flushing the toilet, and doing the occasional dishes. I went out and bought paper plates to eat off – which found their way into the wood stove after dinner, and still drank out of glasses and ate using real utensils (no plastics, please). That was, in a sense, a revelation–the contrast I needed in my life to see just how doable it was.
Today is Easter, April 20th, and I’m still waiting for the big thaw! Although the daily temperatures have improved for the most part, we have still seen below freezing temps in the overnight. It’s been a brutal winter and rather cold spring. But this too shall pass.
Other things that I’ve been dealing with are:
- Extended Auto Warranty – cancelled to save money
- Heating oil budget plan went up – renegotiated the “deal”
- Increases in auto and home owners insurance – renegotiated the policy.
- Scheduling eye, dental, and physicians appointments (annual checkups, mammograms, blood work, etc.)
- Job reclassification appeal – testified in my own behalf.
- Getting my riding lawnmower fixed – which I have been without for two years.
- Going to conferences (on the 9-1-1 industry and laws affecting Notary Public Commissions)
- Registering my vehicle (an annual thing)
- Refinancing my home to set myself up for…
- Orchestrating a better Retirement plan and in the process,
- Preparing for a real estate appraisal (for the refinancing process) and
- Taking care of myself by drinking at least one spinach-banana-blueberry smoothie per day.
These things may seem inconsequential or trite to you, but try dealing with all of this over the course of only 3 months and not any three months but three of the toughest winter months Maine has seen in probably 50 years! And there’s been a lot of overlap, meaning, one thing isn’t necessarily done before the next one cranks up, these have been going on simultaneously and I’m having trouble keeping up because I’m so TIRED!. So along with praying for good timing, I’m visualizing success, joy, prosperity, health, and any other positive aspect of life that I can dream up. I keep putting “out there” the notion that all of this will fall into place very soon. That I’ll be able to retire “comfortably” within 3 years and that even though I will still have some monthly bills, I won’t be strapped by them.
I have a lot on my mind and because of that I haven’t been sleeping well. My daily routine is hard enough. I have a lot going on at work too but I don’t wish to go into that here, not right now. I just want you to know that it’s possible to be so busy and essentially inattentive (or living unconsciously) that your world could come crashing down; but that is not the case and that is why I decided to write this blog. Somehow, all of these things are in motion, moving towards some joyful resolution and hopefully a hugely successful outcome.
That is why I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I have not crumbled under this heavy load. That my health is intact; sure it could be better, and sure I had a setback here and there (like that pulled muscle that I thought was a hernia), but it’s all working out so far and the pain in my side has completely subsided.
I’m really doing fine. I feel fine. I’m happy and I’m doing the things that I need to do to keep everything moving along in the most positive fashion. I’m visualizing and acting upon my inspirations in a way that supports me by remaining positive, joyful and grateful. I love my job. I love where I live. I love my mind and how it works. I love music and creating things, writing and singing. These are all things that keep me sane and keep me in a state of joy. And I’m happy that it’s springtime.
I feel like everything is on the mend. I just have to persevere and soon I’ll be sitting-pretty. Soon I’ll be back in the lake swimming, and kayaking. Soon the gardens will produce fresh crops and soon all of these “opportunities” will have been resolved, settled and behind me. Just trust in the universe and trust in the power of gratitude for “whatever we think about and thank about, we bring about.” Dr. John F. DeMartini, D.C., Bsc., Philosopher.